#6. Wear a Flag Cape:
Every year thousands of Americans pretend to be Irish about as convincingly as Greeks pretending to be a horse: it’s obvious, it’s stupid and anyone falling for it will be very sorry in the morning. The most hilarious method is wearing an Irish flag as a cape. I see this every year and you could only advertise your Americanity harder by being sworn in as president. This might be a shock, United States, but most countries don’t use their flag as a hybrid of wallpaper and glitter. We don’t feel the need to plaster it over every available surface because patriotism isn’t measured by the square meter. In fact, if anyone has a less respectful way to treat a flag than sweating into it, sitting on it and vomiting over it, it’s only because the Red Skull has spent 60 years hating Captain America.
Unless you’re strength incarnate and can list “punching Nazis” on your tax return, wearing your flag is hugely disrespectful. Respecting flags is important because it shows we’re almost not retarded as a species. We used to kill anything that wasn’t us, then anything that wasn’t our family, our tribe, our village and eventually our country. We’re only one more step from not being dumbasses. The flag is a nice reminder of that. It’s not meant to be the default setting for decorations or a magic anti-terrorism charm. It’s definitely not meant to be the cloak of Puking Asshole Man, and double-definitely when it’s not even his flag."
Luke McKinney, “8 Insulting Ways People Act ‘Irish’ on St. Patrick’s Day” | Cracked.com
Guys, THIS is why I get so angry about the lack of flag etiquette at conventions. THIS RIGHT HERE.